One-Sided Relationship

In school there is always one kid that a person will hang out with, although that person does not want to be seen with him. They will only associate with that one person when they have no one else to hang out with or when they need something from them. It is evident through the novel The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, that in a one-sided relationship there is always one person in a friendship who will unconditionally love the other person and one who will be willing to take advantage of the other.

In the novel, Hassan will always do anything for Amir because he is a loyal and true friend. On the other hand, Amir only hangs out with Hassan when no one else wants to play with him. Amir does not notice how unfair his relationship with his best friend is until he brutally watches Hassan get raped in the alley by Assef. Through the actions of Hassan and Amir, it is evident that a one-sided relationship will not work out because there will always be jealousy, lies, and shame to deal with.

Evidently, Amir and Hassan’s friendship is unhealthy because Amir is afraid to consider Hassan a true friend. He is afraid to consider Hassan a true friend because he feels shame in being the only Pashtun child playing with a Hazara boy because Hazaras are of a lower class. Amir is struck by the words Assef says to him, “How can you talk to him, play with him, let him touch you? How can you call him your friend? If idiots like you and your father didn’t take these people in, we’d be rid of them by now” (Hosseini 41).

It is at this point that Amir truly considers his relationship with Hassan. He wonders why he only plays with Hassan when no one else is around and why when other kids come over they never include Hassan in any games. This is the point where their relationship begins to struggle because Amir cannot distinguish if Hassan is a friend or a servant to him. Additionally, Amir tests Hassan’s loyalty to prove that he is a true friend to him. One of the ways in which he tests his loyalty is by asking, “Would you eat dirt if I told you to?” (54). Out of shame, Amir asks Hassan this question because he wants to see if he would be willing to do anything for him. Amir constantly looks to test his loyalty with questions like this one because Amir wants Hassan to say no in order to make himself feel better. He feels that if Hassan will not do one thing he asks, then it will make his doubts about his relationship feel better and not as one-sided. It is utterly clear that the boys’ relationship is unhealthy because Amir is always trying to test Hassan’s loyalty because he has developed too much shame in the way he treats Hassan to consider him a true friend.

Furthermore, the relationship between Hassan and Amir is unhealthy because Amir has too much jealousy built up. Amir is jealous of Hassan because he has the attributes and talents that he wishes he had instead of his own. Amir is jealous of Hassan because he heard Baba exclaim, “I see how they push Amir around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never” (22). Amir was offended when he heard his own father say this because at this moment he knew his father wished he was like Hassan. He learned that his father wished he was more athletic and did not read books all the time. Learning of this made him very jealous of Hassan because he had all of these features and was considered golden in the eyes of Baba. Additionally, Amir resents Hassan because he has always received attention from Baba and was treated like his favorite son. Amir is jealous of Hassan because he got a very thoughtful and loving birthday present: a doctor to fix his hairline lip. Amir does not understand why his father gave such a huge gift to Hassan because he had never received such a loving gift. Amir acknowledges the fact the he normally only receives a toy or little object from Baba and cannot comprehend the fact that his father put so much effort into Hassan’s gift. This makes Amir very jealous of Hassan because he yet again stole the attention from Baba. Overall the relationship of Amir and Hassan is very detrimental because Amir resents Hassan for having many of the things that he wishes he could obtain. Amir wishes he were more athletic and strong so that he could be the golden child in Baba’s eyes.

Finally, the one-sided relationship comes to an end due to the fact that it cannot survive when too much hatred and lies have built up. One of the main reasons the relationship between Hassan and Amir failed was the fact that Amir enabled Hassan to get raped. Before being raped by Assef, Assef blurted, “You’re nothing more but an ugly pet. Something he can play with when he is bored, something he can kick around when he is angry. Don’t ever fool yourself and think you’re something more” (72). After the rape, these words that were said stuck to both Hassan and to Amir who stood by aimlessly watching him get raped. Both boys knew that if it was the other way around, Hassan would have jumped in and tried to prevent the rape from happening. However, in reality, Amir was the reason their relationship came to an end because he simply just did not have love for Hassan the same way he was loved back. Moreover their relationship could no longer work after the rape because Amir could not stand to look at Hassan’s face everyday and tell lies about what had happened that day in the alley. Amir tried to deal with this trouble by trying to get Baba to kick Hassan and his father out of his house. For example, Amir stuck his watch and birthday money under Hassan’s mattress so that Baba would get furious and kick them out of his house. However, Amir’s plans always backfired on him, which resulted in him having to live with more lies building up. Their relationship came crashing down hard after the rape because Hassan woke up from his little fantasy and learned how good of a friend Amir was to him. He came to realize that he would always love Amir, and in return it would take years before Amir would love him the way that he did. Overall the relationship of Amir and Hassan came to an end because Hassan’s eyes were opened and they could no longer live with such huge lies in their lives.

Due to the fact that there will always be lies, shame, and jealousy to deal with in a relationship, it is obvious that a one-sided relationship will never work out for the best. The relationship of Amir and Hassan never worked out well because Amir was afraid to consider Hassan a true friend. He was only the person who was there for him when he needed it the most and no one else was there to play with. Also the relationship never worked out because Amir built up too much jealousy towards Hassan. Amir could not stand the fact that Hassan was the golden boy in his father’s eyes. He always wanted to be that boy, and came to realize he would never be because Hassan was perfect from his father’s point of view. Ultimately, their relationship came to an end because Amir let Hassan get raped, while he watched it all happen and took no actions to prevent it. This led to too many lies and too big of a burden for Amir to live with. This caused him to build up hatred, which eventually made Hassan and his father leave his house. Clearly, the relationship could not work out because Amir could not love Hassan for who he was. People need to take this example of Amir and Hassan and apply it to their own lives. They need to realize that they cannot and should not take advantage of a friend or a person because it will result in a failed relationship and hatred will most likely arrive. Thus people need to be more considerate and caring to the people they live and socialize with in their daily lives.